Oops, I did it again.

Ah, why DO I DO this?

I know why.

Insecurity.  Lack of control. Bad habits.

For those of you who know me, you’d probably agree that I love really hard.  I have a hard time saying “no” because I want to accommodate everyone.  I am super sensitive and (in no means in a prideful way) have a heart the size of Texas (all because of Jesus changing me).  I’m compassionate and caring.

BUT I HAVE A MAJOR PROBLEM.

The first impression I put off is HORRIBLE and not very accurate.  When I am put in social situations with men or people I feel uncomfortable with, my personality is altered.  I turn into (moms-have your children look away from the screen) a super bitch.  I am sarcastic and mean.  Nothing encouraging comes out of my mouth. I don’t even recognize myself.  I realize that it is a TOTALLY defense tactic to protect myself, but that does not make it OK.  I want to be the same person…when I first meet you, until we’ve said our last good-byes.

I need help.

Do you have any advice?

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Oops, I did it again.

  1. Dana
    I can offer some advice from my own personal struggles with these issues. I also am very accomadating to others. When I’m put in similar situations, my sin doesn’t show itself in the same way as it does in you, but it’s sin nonetheless. The problem for both of us here is that we seek man’s approval more than God’s approval. We want praise from others to validate who we are, rather than understanding our true validation from God.

    So, that’s the first step in overcoming behaviors that you don’t like in those situations: realizing that your desire for others approval is the main cause. What I have learned, and am still learning, to do is to preach truth to myself that I am approved by God and don’t need to seek approval from others. We must take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. So, when those feelings of inadequacy come, I confess it as sin. Then, I trust that God forgives me of that sin. I also recall that my righteousness is unchanged by this sin, because my righteousness is in heaven. Then I quote Scripture to myself that I have been approved by God and don’t need to try to get others to validate who I am.

    Preaching the gospel to ourselves daily, over and against the lies that we constantly listen to and believe, is the way that God has designed that we walk in freedom. “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our Spirit that we are children of God, if children, then heirs-heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.”

  2. First, I love your honesty. We can only change when we see ourselves, the good and the bad.

    I am learning to laugh at myself. I was so afraid of looking foolish to others for so long. I became what I thought they wanted. I was not my true self out of year of rejection. I am learning to risk being my honest true self. It is scary as hell, but exciting just the same. Friendships are deeper, some people like me less, I am happier and at peace. The risk has been so worth it!

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